Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
