I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Randomize
