DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
