It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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