idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
