can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
