why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Randomize
