Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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