Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
