Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize