Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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