In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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