Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
