Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
