census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
