we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
