when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
