I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Let's paint friendship bongs
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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