Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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