And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
