guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
