I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
