another moral hangover. fuck.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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