Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
