just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
What a dumb baby whore.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
