Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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