You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize