whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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