i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
