It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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