you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I enjoy the company of your penis
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
