her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
