i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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