How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize