I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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