Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
