dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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