There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Randomize