Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Randomize
