Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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