but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
