I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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