We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
