I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
