I wish my penis had an off switch
420 ftw
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
