The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
