But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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