haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
