he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
