it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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