D3 body, D1 cock
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Randomize
