got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
