the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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