At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
