i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
