I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
