she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
