Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
