Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
