we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you win again, gameday.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
