oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
