just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
