flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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