have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize