I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
