There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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