But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
