I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
