Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize