if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
