Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
And then he peed in my hair
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