Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
