I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Randomize
