he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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