butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Randomize