i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
