I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
