found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
