Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
